Can I ask you a question?
"Is God all He says He is?" If you're anything like me, a home-grown church kid, that question is pretty easy. "Yeah of course, He's GOD!". That's what we're suppose to say right? Ok, so can I ask you another question then? "Do you believe you are the amazing person you say you are?" (Think about that real hard before you answer) What if I told you that the answer you gave for the first question affects the way you answer the second? You're probably confused so let me explain myself. Lots of times the way we view GOD can affect the way we view ourselves. If we believe GOD is an awesome being Who created all things and called them good (Genesis 1:31), then we'll believe that we are HIS good creations because HE made all things "good". But if we don't believe that GOD makes things "good" then we'll view ourselves as a mistake. About a year ago, GOD started bringing to my attention a lie I had believed about myself my whole life. It's the one statement that almost all my insecurities hang on. The lie was: "I am GOD's one exception" I knew GOD was an amazing God who created all things good and that HE loved us beyond measure. But for some reason I believed that HE made an exception when it came to me. GOD loves everyone unconditionally but me GOD forgives everyone but me GOD has a purpose for everyone but me Do you see a pattern here? And the sad thing was, I lived it out! I would tell people all the time that GOD loves them and has a purpose for their life, all the while silently adding to myself "everyone but me that is". One day, I can't remember exactly what I was doing, but I remember GOD spoke to me and said: "Susan, if you believe that you are MY one exception in life, then you believe I have contradicted MY Word." In The Bible in the book of John, Jesus is talking to a Pharisee named Nicodemus. Jesus tells Nicodemus “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16 emphasis added are mine). Jesus said GOD loved the whole world. Not just parts of it, not just a certain select few, the WHOLE WORLD. He also goes on to say that "The one who believes in Him is not condemned; but whoever does not believe has been condemned already, because he has not put his trust in the name of the one and only Ben-Elohim [Hebrew for Son of God]." (vs 18 brackets are mine) GOD revealed to me that when I believed that I was HIS one exception, in reality I was believing that GOD repudiated what HE said in the Bible. If I was going to preach to others that GOD loved them and that GOD had a plan for their life, I had to believe the same thing in regards to myself and stop condemning myself when HE already loves and forgave me. I'm telling you this because ever since that moment I have discovered that all my insecurities are secret lies about GOD that the Devil has told me. When I stopped trying to fix myself with all the "self-help" rules I had learned, I began to see that all this was truly about GOD and HIS image, not mine. Think about it, Who is the Devil's enemy? GOD Who is GOD's beloved? We are If you had an enemy and you wanted to destroy them, you could do it one of two ways: Attack them directly, or attack the things/people they love. The devil can not directly attack GOD. HE is The Almighty and has already beat the devil in the ultimate battle against death (John 12:31-33) . So instead he'll attack those GOD loves because by causing us pain, he causes GOD's heart to break (Isaiah 63:9). He does this in many ways but one way is by telling us lies about ourselves which cause us to unconsciously doubt aspects about GOD, in turn, causing us to not believe HIM and ultimately turn away from HIM. Think about some of the lies we believe about ourselves and how they affect our thinking of Who GOD is: I am not loved. GOD doesn't love. I am useless. GOD makes useless things. I am ugly. If we are made in HIS image, then GOD must be ugly. Now, I am not saying that you are irrelevant and that your insecurities have nothing to do with you. Your fears and insecurities are very real and important to you and how you walk through life. I'm just suggesting that we're looking at this all wrong. Instead of focusing on how we feel, we should be asking ourselves "what is the ultimate battle here?" So here's what I propose: pray that GOD would reveal to you one of the insecurities you have and ask HIM to reveal to you what that lie says about HIMSELF. Even if you feel like you don't have any insecurities, you still may be believing a lie about GOD that you don't realize you believe. It will be scary, asking GOD to reveal the truth about HIMSELF, maybe a truth you don't even realize. Believe me I know! But at the same time, when GOD reveals Who HE really and truly is, lives are changed and the devil flees (James 4:1-10)! Try it, and see what happens. Here are some suggestions on ways you can do that: Spend time listening Pray and ask GOD to reveal HIMSELF to you and then spend some time just listening. The Bible says that those who wait on The LORD will not be ashamed (Psalms 25). It will be a challenge, quieting your mind, but it will be rewarding. Be alert and patient GOD will answer you in HIS timing. It may not be immediate but it may be. GOD is not a god to be controlled or swayed. He will answer you in the way and time HE wants to answer you in. This may mean waiting a little bit so you can get to a point where you are truly listening, or so HE can answer you in a way that you'll know it was HIM speaking to you. Just be alert and patient. HE will answer if you're truly seeking (Deuteronomy 4:29). Which brings me to my next suggestion: Don't expect a certain answer to be delivered a certain way GOD does not always answer us in a booming voice from the heavens. Sometimes HE allows other things or people to speak for HIM. I remember one time GOD revealed a lie I had been believing by letting me literally speak it out loud! I was talking with a friend (and by talking, I mean I was talking she was simply listening not saying a word) and before I even knew what I was saying I heard myself say the lie I had believed and why I had even believed it! So don't expect an answer in a specific way. GOD sometimes likes to surprise HIS children! Have some accountability You can do this by asking someone, or a group of people, to pray for you and keep up with you during your time of searching. I would like to encourage you to leave a comment in this post so that I and others reading this can pray for you. You don't have to say anything specific, just that you've accepted the challenge. Also I encourage you to comment on other people's posts encouraging and praying for them! Please remember though that there are real people behind those comments and treat them with the kindness, love, and respect that Jesus offers to us all. Are you ready? Nervous? Excited? Feeling a little bit of a lot of different emotions? Me too. I know the lie I'll be working on this week is "GOD can't fulfill me in my everyday longings and desires". Doesn't that sound selfish? So be praying that GOD will reveal to me how HE is the only Messiah and I am not. I'll be praying for you all too! Blessings on your epic quest! Love, Susan
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We started off the week with a baptism at Brighton Beach. There were three people to be baptized, one man and two ladies one of whom is Jewish. It was amazing to be standing on the beach singing and worshiping GOD with my fellow brothers and sisters in Messiah whom I had never met before and welcoming yet new siblings into the family of GOD! I felt so connected to these people that are so different from me, but yet we all share the same Heavenly Father and the same love and gratitude for HIM. And the joy to watch these three new believers announce publicly to the world what GOD had done for them and their decision to follow HIM for the rest of their lives was something I really can't describe to you. But if you are a Christian, you know what I'm talking about. (each person being baptized gave a short version of their testimony beforehand) Everyday started off with a worship service and devotional. We had training all morning and headed out to the streets in the afternoon. There were about 34 participants in Shalom Brooklyn and we were divided into teams of 5 to 8 with a Chosen People staff member as our leader. The teams would rotate between sites throughout the week so there was a new team at the same location through the entire week (which proved to be very helpful in many ways). At the sites (usually a park) we would set up a book table with some Biblical literature and Bibles to give out. While 2 people would man the table the other team members would break off into pairs and walk the park doing a one-page spiritual questionnaire to try to get people in conversations about their beliefs. (our team) If you will notice our shirts say Isaiah53.com on them. The main book we handed out at the tables was the book Isaiah 53 Explained. This book goes through Isaiah chapter 53 (also known as the Suffering Servant passage) and breaks the passage down explaining how Yeshua (Jesus) is the Jewish Messiah. We would ask people if they had ever read Isaiah 53 and if they had who they thought the person in the passage was.
You will also notice in the picture above that the sign on the table asks the question "Does God Exist?". Another way we got people to stop by the booth was to pose a question on a white board and ask people's opinion on the question. Some of the questions the Shalom Brooklyn group thought of included "Was Jesus really the Messiah?" "Have you found peace with God?" and "Who or what is god in your life?". It was interesting to hear the answers people had. One guy stopped by the booth that I was at with the question "Does God exist?" on it and checked "yes" in the boxes we drew below the question. When I asked him why he checked "yes" and who he thought God was he said that he didn't know who or what it was but he knew that all this (meaning creation) didn't just happen but chance that something, or someone, had to have made it. It was amazing to see that no one taught this man that knowledge, GOD revealed HIMSELF to this man. I always felt like it was MY responsibility to tell people about GOD, that if I didn't tell people they would never know about HIM. But that day GOD taught me that it was not my responsibility to save people. HE saved people, it was just my responsibility to obey HIM as HIS disciple. In the months leading up this mission trip I had really been struggling with having a Messiah complex (meaning I felt like I was responsible to save people). Through this trip GOD showed me that HE was orchestrating plans that I didn't know about to draw people to HIMSELF and that when I, in my human disadvantage, could not fulfill or finish a task HE would and that nothing was slipping by HIM. Every person is precious to HIM and HE desires that ALL come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9, 2 Peter 3:15) and, while HE wants us to choose HIM of our own free will, HE will do the drawing. Which leads me into my next story. On the fifth day we were in NY we set up our booth in a part of Central Park (actually right next to the Trump campaign headquarters). There I met who I'll refer to as Pigeon Man. Pigeon Man was feeding pigeons (thus the name) and had drawn the attention of me and two other young people because the pigeons where eating right out of his hands (literally!). The particular tracts I was handing out that day were advertising a website called I Found Shalom where several Jewish people share there testimonies. I mentioned that he seemed to have found shalom because he obviously seemed to be at peace and asked him if he'd share how he found it. Apparently this man has looked at every major religion of the world and has picked out the "common threads" in them to be his religion. This man also believed strongly in free will and that the purpose of life is to choose righteousness and that if you don't choose righteousness in this life, you will come back again and again until you do. I tried pointing out to him that you can not say that you believe in free will if life's ultimate goal is to choose righteousness. Let me explain what I mean by that: Free will is the ability to choose your own path in life and how you will walk that path. In order for free will to work, the choices you or I make must be honored. If I want to choose to follow a Jewish Rabbi my choice to do so must be honored by letting me follow this Jewish Teacher. And if I want to choose to be evil and not choose righteousness in order for free will to work I should be allowed to pursue evilness. But what this man was saying is that while I could choose to be evil, at the end of the day (or the end of one of my many lives) I must choose to be righteous in order to move on. Otherwise I would be stuck and unable to proceed in life. But if free will is the ability to choose ones' own life, how can we make our own choices if at the end of the day we MUST choose to be one certain way? I tried to be respectful in presenting my case, as Pigeon Man was in presenting his. But in the end we had to part ways because neither of us could agree with the other. We talked for a good hour on this subject and many others before he had to leave. Honestly I would have finished the conversation sooner but remember the two young people I mentioned earlier who were watching the pigeons with me? They were hanging on every word Pigeon Man and I said. So I stuck around because I knew they were listening and when we parted ways they walked off with Pigeon Man asking him more questions. Watching them walk off I literally began to weep knowing just how blind this man was and here he was making disciples. It was so heartbreaking to see an intelligent man who has genuinely studied be so blind to one simple truth. It was hard to walk away from that meeting not knowing if I made a difference and feeling like I had not. But you know what? GOD gave me a peace about it. No, I didn't feel like I presented my case in the best way and that Pigeon Man got back to his house, fell on his knees, and gave his life to Messiah. But, I had defended my Savior in the best way I could, and even if those people didn't listen, I shared The Truth with them and GOD was going to handle the rest. I've got more stories coming up so stay tuned! Hello people! I'm back and boy do I have lots to share! So without further ado, here's what all went on in the big apple! So Jonathan and I flew out on a Saturday morning. Considering I've never flown or navigated an airport before I would say I did pretty good having only forgotten to take my phone out at security and crashed into a lady on the airport tram :). The flight was SO COOL even though I cried all during take off :). We landed right on time and found our way to the hotel with very little trouble. I did have the worst headache ever upon arriving due to the cabin pressure in the plane and seriously considered taking another flight home. Only after talking and praying with my dad, hearing that my baby cousin was praying for me (thank you sweet Brandon), and taking two of these magical green things call sinus pills, was I able to feel better. (at the airport on our way to New York) So we are finally in New York and get to have a quick rest before we begin ministering right? Wrong See we had ordered a cab service to pick us up at the airport to take us to the hotel before orientation that night (because we all know that if it was up to me to navigate I would have gotten us completely lost! :). The cab driver, we'll just call him Carl for now, picked us up at the baggage claim and took us on a 15 minute drive to the hotel we were staying at for the week. We got to talking and turns out this man is a Hindu or Buddhist (I can't remember which now) and freely told us what he believed. Johnathan and I, not knowing what else to do, continued to ask him questions as Carl told us how sin comes about. According to him humans were once giants who were equal to God but once we started living for ourselves (Carl described it as when the word "mine" came into being) humans began to shrink and loose connection with God. I honestly don't know if our questions made any difference or if he just thought he was an older man "enlighten" these poor confused youths. He allowed us to pray with him after he dropped us off and to take a picture with him. But needless to say, that was our first taste of New York! (us with our cab driver and our amazing selfie taking skills :) Orientation was that night and we got to meet some more people who were join us for the week as well as our team leader. There were about 34 participants in Shalom Brooklyn and we were divided into teams of 5 to 8 with a Choosen People staff member as our team leader. While we would all be together during the morning and evening hours we would break off into teams in the afternoon.
There were people from all over that came! We had one lady from Hawaii and one guy from Canada, but the cool place to come from apparently was North Carolina. Almost half of the people there were from North Carolina. Jonathan and I were the only ones from Tennessee and that first night everyone thought we were married because we had the same last name! So when it came time for us to introduce ourselves I had to set the record straight because everyone kept asking us if we were married or not. I even had a man come up to me after orinatition thanking me for clarifying because he didn't know if we were married or not and didn't know how to ask! :) But that was just the first night. And it was just the beginning. Next post I'll share about some of the actual ministry as well as a baptism at Brighton Beach! Sorry it is taking me so long to get this out. Life hit me full force when I returned. But, more on that after I get out my ministry trip posts! More Soon...I Promise! Susan 7/17/2016 0 Comments New York Update #3: Follow Along!
Well people, it's now time to do what we all hate to do for any trip:
packing
I hate packing. Yet, it must be done so thus I do it. But as I'm packing I'm reminded of the many things that GOD has provided for me to go on this trip like:
a new backpack a carry on suitcase loaned to me by my brother (thank you Gideon!) a few new bargain-priced clothes and the knowledge that people are out there praying for my safety. Guys, to be honest I have been overwhelmed with the support y'all have given Jonathan and I! Knowing that people are praying for me is the number 2 thing that gives me the courage to tackle this adventure laid before me (knowing GOD is with me being number 1). So thank you again for helping us to prepare for this trip! Now I would like to share this experience with each of y'all by inviting you to follow me! Not in the physical sense (I'm pretty sure the flight we're taking is full, sorry!) but thanks to the wonderful world of technology you can follow me on Instagram where I will be posting photos of all the cool things we'll be doing. And yes I promise to write a detailed post here on the blog when we get back!;)
So that's really it for now! Continue to keep Jonathan and I in your prayers as we travel and work alongside GOD's chosen people. Pray that:
-Their eyes will be open to the truth that they've been blinded to for so long -That we will be purely vessels The LORD will work through. We can not in any way through our own power save people. So pray that GOD will work through us in such a way that our sinful selves can't, and won't, get in the way -That our team will be in perfect unity with each other. That we will be understanding anytime someone gets tired and encourage them to keep pressing on in the hard, and easy, times -That we will have a safe travel to New York, from New York, and all the little journeys made in between -That GOD will be glorified this week in everything said and done. This week is about HIM not me so all praise belongs to HIM alone Shalom (peace) to you all, Susan Greetings all! In my last update I mentioned that one of my main concerns was that we wouldn't have enough money by the June 15th deadline. Well now I have a big favor to ask you guys... STOP SPENDING MONEY!! We have MORE THAN ENOUGH to cover our Chosen People Ministries fees, airline tickets, meals, and extra travel expenses! I'm so overwhelmed by what all we've been blessed with because to be honest, I wasn't expecting to raise more than $100 before our deadline. But by 3:00pm on June 15th we were completely paid off to CPM with promises of more funds to come for the travel! This was actually MY first confirmation that I was suppose to go on this trip, because to be honest I had enough saved up for all my expense (would have wiped me out but I could have done it); it was really for Jonathan that we were asking for money. Up until then I was feeling that I was more or less only suppose to go as my brother's babysitter. But when the donations added up to where I didn't have to pay a cent on my behalf it was almost like GOD was saying "I've got a plan for you on this trip too. Just trust ME" So thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU to everyone who's graciously given towards our trip! We will never be able to thank you properly and repay you back for all you've done! And to those who have been praying for us I've got news for you as well! Anytime someone does something for GOD there will be attacks from the devil to try to stop that person from continuing. This has been very true for me. These past two weeks have been a giant mental and emotional battle that has left me physically exhausted to the point that I couldn't focus on preparing for my mission trip. But on Friday pieces were laid in place that helped me to confront my distractions and put them away from me. I know there were people praying for me that day and to those who were thank you very much for giving me strength to move forward past this big distraction and road block in my journey. So yes GOD is on the move here and doing amazing things to prepare Jonathan and I for this seemingly insignificant trip but as we believers know, nothing is unimportant to our Heavenly Father. Even if all we do is plant a seed in someone's mind to get them thinking more about GOD then I will have done my job well and HE will take care of the rest. There is a song that I've been listening to lately called The Sower's Song by Andrew Peterson that perfectly describes what all is happening to me with preparing for my trip (click the link to hear the song, lyrics listed below). It's based on Isaiah 55: 10-13, 62:11 and John 15:1-11 and talks about GOD preparing us for HIM through the image of a sower in a garden. Please continue to pray that GOD will prepare us, the rest of the mission team, and the people we will minister to for all HE has in store. Pray that unnecessary distractions will continue to fade away and we will be able to keep our focus on our Savior Yeshua (Jesus) ONLY. And praise HIM for providing everything we need to go on this trip and for removing a big hinderance for me! GOD is not unaware of all these things and I know you guys know that, but just think of prayer as you requesting weapons on mine and Jonathan behalf in order for us to complete our journey as I know you will faithfully do. The Sower's Song
By: Andrew Peterson Oh God, I am furrowed like the field torn open like the dirt And I know that to be healed that I must be broken first I am aching for the yield that you will harvest from this hurt Abide in me let these branches bear you fruit Abide in me Lord as I abide in you So I kneel at the bright edge of the garden At the golden edge of dawn at the glowing edge of spring When the winters edge is gone And I can see the color green I hear the sowers song Abide in me let these branches bear you fruit Abide in me Lord let you word take root Remove in me the branch that bears no fruit Remove in me Lord as I abide in you As the rain the snow fall Down from the sky and they don't return But they water the earth and they bring forth life Giving seed to the sower and bread for the hunger So shall the Word of the Lord be with a sound like thunder And it will not return and it will not return void We shall we lead in peace and go out with joy And the hills before us will raise their voices And the trees of the field will clap their hands as the land rejoices And instead of the thorn now the cypress towers And instead of the brier the myrtle blooms with a thousand flowers And it will make a name Make a name for our God A sign everlasting will never be cut off As the earth brings forth sprouts from seed What is sown in the garden grows into a mighty tree So the Lord plants justice Justice and praise to rise before the nations until the end of the days As the rain the snow fall Down from the sky and they don't return But they water the earth and they bring forth life Giving seed to the sower and bread for the hunger So shall the Word of the Lord be with a sound like thunder And it will not return and it will not return void And it will not return and it will not return void It will not return It will not return void We shall be lead in peace and go out with joy And the sower leads us And the sower leads us And the sower leads us 6/14/2016 0 Comments New York Update #1 Prayer Requests38 more days! That's how many day sI have left before I leave on my mission trip to Brooklyn New York! I'm so excited but at the same time I'm anxious about the trip! Will we get the money in time? How am I going to witness to people of a completely different denomination than me? What if I get lost at the airport? I have so many concerns but I know that my Heavenly Father sees the future, I don't (see Jer 29:11), and that there are people (like you!) out there who are praying for me every step of the way. So I wanted to post a few prayer requests so that those of you praying for us have something specific to pray about. I know it helps me when I'm praying for someone to know specific needs, that way I'm not just saying "Lord please help this person." It somehow makes it more personal in a way that really helps me "bare my brother's burden" as commanded in the Bible (see Gal 6:2). Please pray for: *The safe and on-time travel to and from NYC and to and from all our NYC destinations. Neither Jonathan nor I have ever traveled by ourselves before (let alone fly!) so this aspect makes us VERY nervous! Please pray that our travel will go smoothly and that GOD will send HIS heavenly arm to protect us. * The health and wellbeing of all the Shalom Brooklyn participants and staff. I (Susan) tend to have some digestive issues if I eat out for a long period of time. Please pray that this will not be an issue and that if it is that I will be given the strength to press on regardless of how I feel. * The successful support raising for every one the Lord has called to this ministry. I'm not going to lie, money is a BIG issue right now and we really don't want to go into debt over a mission trip. Please pray that the funds will be provided before our deadline. The below requests have come directly from Chosen People Ministries in relation to Shalom Brooklyn: * The Spiritual preparation of all our hearts. Pray that we will yield our hearts to the control of the Holy Spirit so we may be motivated always by love for HaShem (The Name), and each other. * For a spirit of unity and cooperation as we work together all week * We will all catch a vision for what the Lord is doing among the Jewish People in Brooklyn and beyond * That we will learn new skills and gain new knowledge for His Kingdom * For our open, loving hearts toward the Jewish people and our team * For the Jewish people's spiritual eyes to be opened, and their hearts to be softened to the love of God in the Messiah Yeshua (Jesus), and the truth of the Gospel * For spiritual fruit that will last for all eternity * For anything else that comes to mind about our time together:) Again thank you to everyone who is praying and supporting us through this journey. May you be blessed a hundred fold for your efforts! Love, Susan 6/14/2016 0 Comments Start Spreading the News!Hey Everybody! I know it's been a while since I've last posted, life has been crazy this 2016!
But I did want to take a moment to tell y'all about something exciting happening in just a little over a month! My brother Jonathan and I will be going on our first mission trip and anyone want to guess where? I’ll give you a hint: “I want to be a part of it...” come on, you know this song! That’s right! NEW YORK!!! On July 22nd we will be heading to Brooklyn, NY for 8 days to work with Chosen People Ministries and the Jewish community there. Neither of us have gone on a mission trip before, so this makes us both nervous and cautiously optimistic. We’re excited to see how GOD will use us, but at the same time it is very sobering to be a part of the Great Commission. GOD told us to take the gospel to the Jew first and then to the Gentile (see Rms 1:16; Matt 28:19-20; Rms 11) This is an important commandment which we are trying not to take lightly. A lot of what we will be doing will be street ministry in the Jewish community of Brooklyn through the program, Shalom Brooklyn. One person out of every four in Brooklyn is Jewish so we should be busy! Most don’t even know that their Messiah has come. Chosen People Ministries will be teaching us how to witness to Jews using Isaiah 53. This chapter is a prophecy outlining what the Messiah looks like. In particular it shows that the Jewish Messiah has indeed come, and that He IS Yeshua (Jesus). Before you ask, yes, we are raising funds for this trip. Together we will need about $4,800 which includes our travel fees. Due to some family circumstances, we are getting in on this trip at the last minute. Thus, our fundraising time is short; our balance is due on June 15 (That's TOMORROW!). However, we feel led to step out on faith and proceed with this trip. If you would like to donate towards our trip please leave a comment below and I can send you more details. We are excited about the trip ahead and would love for you to be a part of this journey by praying and interceding for us! I will be posting updates here on the blog so be sure to check them out! (NOTE: I will not be able to post while I'm actually in NY but there will be post coming!) . All prayers and donations are very much appreciated and we can’t wait to share with ya’ll what GOD does. So “start spreading the news!” We’re leaving soon! Shalom soon from Brooklyn, Jonathan and Susan The post below was originally written in April of 2016 but just never got posted to the blog. The thoughts are still relevant today though, so enjoy. In my sewing room (which also doubles as my bedroom :) I have a rolling chair that I sit in whenever I am sewing. Being that it rolls it makes it very convenient to move from my sewing machine to my serger without having to get up every time. One day I noticed that my chair was not doing what it was designed to do. Usually all I have to do is push off from wherever I'm at and since my room is so small, that's all it takes to get me to the other side of my room. But now I basically had to drag myself and the chair over to where I wanted to go. My chair just refused to roll! When you sew, there are going to be threads everywhere, it's just something you have to deal with. I have a trash can next to my work space that I throw away my thread tails and scrap fabric in. But sometimes I get so busy I forget to make sure my trash ends up where it's suppose to end up. Then I roll over it with my chair and the wheels pick it up and wrap it around the inside of the wheels. Sometimes I did this on accident but other times I was just too lazy to bend over and pick it up so I let the chair wheels do it for me. The threads where gone so the problem was solved right? Wrong. What I didn't know was that over time these threads knotted themselves up more and caused strain against the wheels of my chair to where it could no longer function properly. Eventually my chair got to the point where it just could not roll or if it did it rolled only a very little. I knew I had to fix this problem so I turned over my chair and looked inside the bottom of my wheels. What I found surprised me. Do you see that!? Do you see all that thread!? I knew that my chair had to be pretty bad to cause it to slow down as slow as it was but I had no clue it was this bad! And there was only one way to get rid of it all: I was going to have to cut into it until I cleared it away. As I began the long task of cutting and pulling and cutting some more, GOD began to show me something. I began to realize that this was sometimes how sin entered our lives. We get so busy and caught up in living that we don't see the bad habits we are forming or the sin we are allowing to enter our lives. Sometimes, like in the case of my chair, we don't realize the things that have entered our lives. But also like me, either out of laziness or selfishness, or whatever reason, we choose to let it come in and over time it builds up until we can not longer function the way we were designed to. We live in a sinful world. That's something we can not stop. But we can stop sin from entering in our lives if we are careful and alert. I will always have threads in my room, that's just a part of sewing that I can't stop. But I can make sure I throw them away in the trash and make sure they end up in the trash and not on the floor or back into my life! “Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life, and that day will not come on you suddenly like a trap; for it will come upon all those who dwell on the face of all the earth. But keep on the alert at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are about to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.” Luke 21:34-36 Just like cutting away at the thread was the only way I could get my chair to function again, so there is only one way to get the sin out of our lives: GOD has to cut it away. As Christians were are designed to reflect and live in a way that shows the world GOD, but we can not do that if we have a bunch of sin in our lives! "You meet him who rejoices in doing righteousness, who remembers You in Your ways Behold, You were angry, for we sinned, We continued in them a long time; And shall we be saved? For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. There is no one who calls on Your name, Who arouses himself to take hold of You; For You have hidden Your face from us And have delivered us into the power of our iniquities." Isaiah 64:5-7 I began to discover too that, while there was a lot of thread caught in my wheels, there was also a lot of small pieces of fabric and hair tangled up in there as well! When we begin to look at our lives, and I mean really look at our lives, we begin to find things in there that we never noticed before. Habits that we didn't know where bad suddenly we are shown just how dangerous they had become. We are shown ways that our sin has not only affected us, but has caused damaged to other people in our lives, more often than not, to the ones we love most. "Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;
According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity And cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, And my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me. Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom. Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins And blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners will be converted to You. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation; Then my tongue will joyfully sing of Your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, That my mouth may declare Your praise. For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. By Your favor do good to Zion; Build the walls of Jerusalem. Then You will delight in righteous sacrifices, In burnt offering and whole burnt offering; Then young bulls will be offered on Your altar." Psalms 51 6/12/2015 0 Comments The Story of How My Life Changed*Note: Because this story is so long I've decided to divide it up into 3 parts. Please bear with me because it is a story worth telling* Do you know how a disease starts? A disease does not start the day you wake up sick, no, a disease starts long before then. You get it days, sometimes weeks, earlier and it varies how you actually catch it. Maybe you forgot to wash you hands after touching something. Maybe you breathed it in. Maybe you caught it from someone. Then after it enters your body it stays there for a while slowly taking over until every part of you is affected. You can get a disease many different ways but the point is: You don't know you have it until the symptoms start showing. That's exactly what happened to me last winter. I was dangerously sick and didn't even know it. What was wrong with me? Well, before I tell you that I need to explain how I found out that I had this illness. Back in about early November lots of different things began happening in my life that I believe brought me to the point that this disease could no longer remain unnoticed: - My brother was about to graduate from high school and he knew exactly what it was that GOD wanted him to do with his life (unlike me who found out, no lie, one week before my graduation). - I was 4 months away from my 20th birthday and still living at home. - In the past 2 years I had completed only 1 of the online sewing classes for which I had signed up. - My sewing business was not where I wanted it to be at this point. - and prince charming had not shown up. All I ever wanted to do, since I was little girl, was to be a godly wife and mother. I felt like that was my life's calling but apparently that was not to be at the moment. Either that or God had forgotten a very important key element to my plan. I began to feel depressed and fearful. What if God had forgotten about the plans He had for me? I thought. What if I'm not relevant to His Story? Don't get me wrong, I knew GOD loved me; I just began to wonder if I didn't have a part to play in the big scheme of life. I became dissatisfied and started having this feeling of anxiety all the time that caused me to have trouble eating. Then one of my biggest fears came to past: I began having panic attacks. My family has a history of panic attacks with the females on my mom's side. I, of course, thought they would never happen to me but secretly I feared that one day I would have them too. That day had come and I was terrified. They quickly grew until I could no longer control them. Every aspect of my life was affected to the point where my whole day was determined by how sick I was in the morning. I even missed out on most of my extended family's Thanksgiving gathering because I was so messed up. But the point when I realized that this could go on no more was the week of my birthday. I threw up for 5 straight days and made my family, and myself, miserable. That's when I knew everything had to stop. Now. I thought I was just worried about my future and at my cousin's suggestion began looking up scriptures about how GOD is bigger than any obstacle. I prayed, I tried eating better, I read and re-read these verses every morning regardless if I felt like I needed them or not. But nothing had seemed to work. One night I was praying and by praying I mean I was whining about how terrible my life was and how God needed to fix it. After a while I began to get sleepy so I ended my complaints with, "Okay, goodnight God. I love you." "Prove it" That got my attention. Prove it? What do you mean God? I gave my heart to you when I was ten, I try to live a life pleasing to you, obey your word, what do you mean prove it? "Show me you love me" Then He brought to my mind all the many times my mom has asked my daddy to prove that he loved her. Did she not know that daddy loved her? Yes she did. But she likes it when daddy proves it to her by giving her flowers, taking her out, or simply helping her around the house. "Okay God, how do you want me to prove that I love you?" The answer didn't come straight away but after searching and geniunely seeking God I finally got it. "Start by serving others" So I began by looking for ways to show God that I loved Him in my everyday life. I started not only reading The Bible, but studying it. I started trying to treat my family the way I wanted to be treated. I stopped simply watching the kids I babysat but tried to find ways to spend time with them that benefited them and not just put up with them on the days I was tired. But like always, Satan doesn't give up too easily when he has a hold on our lives. I continued to be sick. (TO BE CONTINUED)
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October 2019
Book Review
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